Winner Winner, Silva's Shinner: It's The Championship Pump Up!

The BiALBowl is in full effect, and for this tale-of-the-tape, I think we ought to look at some interesting facts about our two contestants.


INTERESTING FACTS ABOUT OUR CONTESTANTS, GREGG AND GARY

• Their combined age is 130. Gregg's way older than he looks.
• Both boasting G names, they averaged about the 5th person in class when conducting first name roll-call in grade school. This was high school, of course, as their one room elementary schools had about 3 students.
• Gary is familiar with the Peoria area, where he's probably seen numerous, historic county fairs. 
• Gregg is from this place called Raytown, which is the Rantoul of Kansas City. 
• Both had their first taste of alcohol at the age of 3.
• They have matching Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man tattoos, but not on purpose and having nothing to do with Ghostbusters. Gary's says "Huggy Bear" underneath, while Gregg's says "Romany Warning"
• Both had brief cameos in different John Hughes productions: Gary was a choir boy in Home Alone, while Gregg portrayed the baton in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

Alright, now that we know our contenders a little better, let's get pumped up.

PUMP UP YEAR END SONG

My favorite song this year was "Closer" by Tegan and Sara. I think I already posted that, so here's number 2

PUMP UP YEAR END BAD COVER SONG

Here's someone butchering my favorite song this year




PUMP UP METAL SONG OF THE YEAR

Fuck it, here's the entire best full out metal album that came out this year. It's 17 minutes long. NAILS, Abandon All Life







UNCRATE MAN PRODUCT OF THE YEAR

The Lamborghini Huracan.

PUMP UP OUT OF CONTEXT STEVEN SEAGAL QUOTE

Is that what Zagon is; one of your basement boys?

-Above the Law (1988)

PUMP UP MAN SNACK, DRINK EDITION

Combat Marshmallow, brewed by Solemn Oath out of Naperville, Illinois. Great double stout, sick artwork on all of their bottles. If you're ever in the Chicago area, pick up all the beers, and swing by their brewery.




PUMP UP UNREASONABLE PREDICTIONS

1. Bears in the Super Bowl!
2. Chiefs play starters and 4 get injured today!
3. Payton Manning signs exclusive deal to do commercials with the WWE!
4. Payton Manning signs exclusive deal to do commercials with Steve Winkler Chevrolet!
5. Payton Manning signs exclusive deal to do commercials for Resident Reverb Pedal watches!
6. Payton Manning signs exclusive deal to do commercials for Major League Soccer!
7. Payton Manning to the Bears! But only for commercials.
8. Flacco: 6 TDs today.
9. Brees: 6 Interceptions today.
10. Brian Urlacher, starting punter for the Jags.
11. Philip Rivers retires in the 3rd quarter forever.
12. Rob Bironas actually dies today, making me feel like I've been a dick for the last 6 years.

So there you have it. Good luck to everyone, and I'll see whose face gets photoshopped onto Miley's as she rides the wrecking ball into our hearts.