What a shitty week for women and children connected to NFL players. In protest, this will be the worst Pump Up of the season.
PUMP UP SHITTY PREDICTIONS
PUMP UP SHITTY PREDICTIONS
- Lance Briggs strangles an infant cub
- Matt Forte strangles an infant wearing a Cubs shirt
- Jay Cutler beats up a bunch of cubs outside a bear leather bar
- Jerricho Cotchery does something bad to someone's crotchery
- Roger Goodell aducts a troop of girl scouts and becomes the subject of a series of 12 Dateline episodes.
- Jarred Allen converts to a polygamous religion, marries 12 women, beats all of them, does his hogtie celebration after each incident.
- The Bears start Ryan Leaf, from a jail cell, as the least controversial option
PUMP UP MANSOGYNY SONG
PUMP UP EVEN WORSER SONG
PUMP UP I GUESS I HATE THE WORLD UNCRATE PRODUCT
Radius First Aid Box, since I guess we'll be handing these out left and right.
PUMP UP EXTRA IMPORTANT PRODUCT
Xanax. (pictured: one dose).
PUMP UP DRINK TO MIX WITH YOUR IMPORTANT PRODUCT
Water. don't be stupid.
Man, I don't even know what to tell you guys. Here's hoping the worst thing that happens this coming week is Bret Favre unretiring and getting destroyed on the field for our amusement.
2 comments:
I'll be honest, I can't even find the desire to watch football after these last few weeks. Jesus christ.
Just remember, it all didnt start this year. They always been.like that. People just getting caught nowadays, and its always the minority.
On the lighter side, Saints Coach Sean Payton purchased 100 of a Bengals player jersey and fhe Bengals are putting 100% of all that players jersey sales towards the players daughter cancer treatment.
There are still good NFL stories
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