It's Week 2 and I've already written off the season. It's become pretty easy to detest everything Cutlerish, and I've got my fingers crossed for an Aaron Rodgers dismemberment to make this season at all palatable.
And then, there's BIALeague. As if the NFL wasn't painful enough, I'm prepping to get dead-last in the league by a healthy game margin, and this pisses me off to no end. Not that I had my hopes on Manning (though I think he'll do me just fine), but I have had two RBs get injured in the first 2 games.
That's some straight up bullshit, and I'm not gonna take it. It's time for me to break out every bullshit fantasy expert I can find on the internet, look at what they say, and average their device. Because everyone knows committees make things better! So starting Week 3, I'll begin my series, Crowdsourced Bedshitting. Look for it!
And now: The Pump Up
Pump Up Man Song
Lame Pump Up Cover Song
I GET IT. YOU CAN NOODLE.
Pump Up Not Lame Cover Song
Bonus BEST VIDEO EVER Since I missed Week 1
If you haven't seen this yet, I pity you.
Pump Up Uncrate Man Product
Hardcore Hatchets. Take it from a hatchet expert.
Pump Up Man Snack
Duck Poutine. I recently had duck. It's my favorite bird to kill. And poutine is poutine. Now that it's suddenly cold (at least here), I'm drinking stouts and porters, and craving some of this business.
Pump Up Netflix Instant Movie
A new feature for when all of the games are just depressing you and you want to say 'fuck it' and stream something to make you happy. Today's suggestion is Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky. If you haven't seen it, I feel like the only warning I should give you is that it's a kung-fu flick, and then let you enjoy whatever comes next. Because wtf and awesome.
Pump Up Insane Predictions
Pump Up animated GIF
And then, there's BIALeague. As if the NFL wasn't painful enough, I'm prepping to get dead-last in the league by a healthy game margin, and this pisses me off to no end. Not that I had my hopes on Manning (though I think he'll do me just fine), but I have had two RBs get injured in the first 2 games.
That's some straight up bullshit, and I'm not gonna take it. It's time for me to break out every bullshit fantasy expert I can find on the internet, look at what they say, and average their device. Because everyone knows committees make things better! So starting Week 3, I'll begin my series, Crowdsourced Bedshitting. Look for it!
And now: The Pump Up
Pump Up Man Song
Lame Pump Up Cover Song
I GET IT. YOU CAN NOODLE.
Pump Up Not Lame Cover Song
Bonus BEST VIDEO EVER Since I missed Week 1
If you haven't seen this yet, I pity you.
Pump Up Uncrate Man Product
Pump Up Man Snack
Duck Poutine. I recently had duck. It's my favorite bird to kill. And poutine is poutine. Now that it's suddenly cold (at least here), I'm drinking stouts and porters, and craving some of this business.
Pump Up Netflix Instant Movie
A new feature for when all of the games are just depressing you and you want to say 'fuck it' and stream something to make you happy. Today's suggestion is Riki-Oh: The Story of Ricky. If you haven't seen it, I feel like the only warning I should give you is that it's a kung-fu flick, and then let you enjoy whatever comes next. Because wtf and awesome.
Pump Up Insane Predictions
- Lovie Smith, fired for Week 4; Mike Tice as interim
- Mitt Romney attends an NFL game this week, probably a Patriots game
- Roddy White: torn ACL
- Browns win by 30
- Andrew Luck: 40 yards rushing
- Michael Vick gets castrated by dogs
Pump Up animated GIF
1 comment:
well done sir, consider the grievance filed by the PWWS for negligence by the commish to miss opening day pump up resolved.
i am now properly pumped up for the remaining games for week 2.
BRING IT TIMMY! I will be all over you like Cutler on an O linemen who missed their block.
Thats the kind of intensity im bringing this week.
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