Ladies, in a season we didn't know would happen:
In a world filled with doubt and the possibility of tracking 12 Canadians at a time:
In a winter that never really came:
In a barren void of hopelessness:
It came.
And lo, Peyton Manning was there holding the tissue batting clean up.
Folks, I can prove to you that the harbingers of the apocalypse have cleaned their mouthpieces in preparation for their coming symphony, and you should all take heed
- Rex Grossman almost looked like a good quarterback
- The Bengals are in the playoffs
- All the injuries we were told would happen because of the short offseason seemed to only happen to the Bears
- ...and Peyton Manning
- I heard the most brilliant phrase: "All along we've tried to 'Suck for Luck' when we should have been 'Laying a Turd for Robert Griffin the Third'" The reason this is connected to the apocalypse is because it made me watch like, two games of college football.
- And finally, Matt Flynn was my second place candidate for Hall of Fame
As much as I 'd like to take away all of Aaron Rodgers accomplishments by pointing out that Matty Flynn's either Jesus or has a good team around him, I can't deny that Aaron Rodgers has all of the disgusting commentator words that make you feel like your creepy uncle just said "moist": poise, passion, talent, fundamentals, vision... You know, the words that make you want to punch Gruden in the mangina.
For almost taking a team with the same record as the Bears to a fantasy championship, we salute you, Aaron Rodgers. Way to not shit the bed the year after a Super Bowl run. I've elected to plaque-ify a picture of you with a pedophile 'stache, just in case you end up as slimey as Brett Favre later.
Also: way to not be Favre.
1 comment:
BrillianT!
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