PUMP. UP.

You know, I'm starting to think we need fantasy bye weeks. If anything, so I could stop losing by double-if-not-triple digits for one week a season.

No, honestly, I have a worse record than the Bears. This is pathetic. And petty.  Let me run you down a few things I said during last week's Bears/Lions game:

• I'm only buying foreign cars from now on.
• I'm going to take money from diabetes foundations
• I hope that guy Urlacher hit ALLEGEDLY in the head is paralyzed.
• I bet Calvin Johnson transforms into a jizzmop (ee oo dee doo ee oo)
• Bring back Orton (I said that, and I know better)

In addition, I compared the Bears to both the Chiefs AND the Illini, not knowing that this was one of the few years that playing like the Illini may have actually been a good thing. I'm a fucking idiot.

Anyway, A few pumps for your up.

PUMP UP MAN SONG

PUMP UP LAME COVER SONG (RIP ROBBY B)

PUMP UP UNCRATE MAN PRODUCT

Watch this movie, you'll love it or hate it. I hate it. I acknowledge that there's a fourth of an idea hidden inside of it. Don't think it's stupid enough yet? There are dinosaurs. There, I said it.

PUMP UP MAN FOOD

Once again! It's biscuits and gravy! I had it this morning! It was fantastic!

PUMP UP INSANE PREDICTIONS

• I win fantasy football this week
• Jay Cutler: unsacked vs. Minnesota
• Lovie Smith: FIRED
• New Bears coach: REX RYAN
• Detroit  burns down. The whole thing

In the meantime, let's all look at these and laugh out loud. And remember, Fiat's are co-owned by Chrysler, so it doesn't count as a foreign car. Instead, buy a Bugatti.