Week 1: The Pump Up

For those of you who aren't at work Googling "Josh Freeman shirtless," I figured you could use some pumping up that didn't involve imaginary boyfriends. HOLY CRAP THERE'S FOOTBALL TONIGHT GUYZ!!!!

Pump Up Man Song

-I'M FUCKING GREAT AT RAAAPPPPIIINNNNG

Pump Up Horrible Cover Song (for Rob Bironas)

oh man... this is so awful....

Pump Up Man Snack

I don't give a shit. Since I've been eating poultry, turkey sausage works just as well, and holy shit this is great stuff.

Pump Up Man Uncrate Product

Check out these monster grills! Stephanie decided that Cooper was going to become a rapper, run around naked without his collar, get his silver dental pieces and go by the name of Bare Grylls. I enjoyed that.

Pump Up Insane Prediction

"Your new Indianapolis Colt, wearing number 4..." (kill me now before this prediction starts happening everywhere else)

Pump Up Kansas City Band

This is Abscess. They're the best band that isn't rap or metal in KC.

OK guys... football!